General Gripe #5: You Welcome

Facts:
"You Welcome" is not an English phrase.
"You're Welcome" is an English phrase. 
"You are Welcome" is an English phrase.

Why do I present these facts?  Because you would be surprised how many people will respond to a "thank you" or "thanks" with the phrase "You Welcome".  Where did this moronic phrase originate?  Is it part of the new English American language?  I must have missed the memos notifying everybody to start using American slang instead of proper English.  

Using the phrase "You Welcome" in conversation is never correct!!  It is fundamentally wrong in grammar, syntax, and punctuation.  I think the use of "You Welcome" is a result of people not wanting to speak an additional syllable/word out of pure laziness.  Are people really that lazy?  Actually, don't answer that question; the high probability of your answer being yes scares me...

Just listen closely the few next times somebody is responding to your "thank you" or "thanks".  You'll be surprised how many people use the phrase "You Welcome" instead of the proper English response "You're Welcome" or "You are Welcome".  Maybe we should start calling English classes in the United States American Slang classes?  At least then, there would be a justification for people's blatant misuse of the English language in conversation.  It still wouldn't change the fact that I really dislike the phrase "You Welcome" - it just sounds so wrong to me.

Sooner or later, I'm going to call somebody out on their bad English!!  You better hope it isn't you!!

Sports Gripe #5: Memos for my disappointing teams...

Redskins

Players that have a 100 million dollar contract should do whatever their employer asks of them...Shut Your Hole Haynesworth, go to the off-season workouts, and stop being a lazy blob!!

Orioles

Players being 6 million dollars to pitch one inning in a baseball game should never give up more than one run...You Really Suck Gonzalez (epic fail)!! 

The team should not hesitate to teach Reimold (a Left-Fielder) a second position if there is a better Left-Fielder already on the team but a worse player at comparable position (1st Base)...Stop being so arrogant Trembley Super-Idiot:  Reimold > Atkins

Bad teams find a way to lose winnable games...2010 O's = 2009 O's

Hitting with runners in scoring position is just as important as home runs...clutch hitting is not the O's forte

Wizards

More wins means less ping pong balls and a lesser chance at the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd pick in the NBA draft...please start playing bad again

General Gripe #5: Hair Colorery

Recently, I have noticed that the wait times for a simple haircut at my local Hair Cuttery are increasing exponentially with each passing visit.  It's gone from no wait about a year ago to at least a 45 minute wait recently.  Can you guess why this is happening to me?  After careful examination of my visits to the Hair Cuttery over the past year, I think I have finally figured out why my wait times are increasing...

WOMEN, more specific -
WOMEN ABOVE THE AGE OF 40, even more specific -
WOMEN ABOVE THE AGE OF 40 GETTING THEIR HAIR COLORED, most specific -

MULTIPLE WOMEN ABOVE THE AGE OF 40 GETTING THEIR HAIR COLORED

This probably isn't the only reason for my extended wait times, but from my viewpoint, it is the most obvious one.  I really don't want to come off as insensitive to the needs of these women, but this desire to "color" your hair at a walk-in hair place is becoming quite detrimental to my schedule. 

Three Questions (with My Comments)

Question #1:  When did Hair Cuttery start dedicating all of their staff to hair coloring?
My Comment:  The past two times I have come in for my haircut, there were four "stylists" hair-cutters present, and in both instances, every single one of them was coloring the hair of a woman above the age of 40.  Then, after I'm finally called for my haircut, I realize that I'm only getting my hair cut because they can squeeze me in while one woman is in the drying phase of hair coloring.  To make matters worse, I see that there are two timers on my hair-cutter's stand, which means she is doing a hair color procedure on multiple women.  Wow, so every stylist at Hair Cuttery is doing at least one hair color, and most are doing two at a time.  I must have missed the memo about Hair Cuttery changing their name to Hair Colorery, because haircuts are no longer allowed there.  Haircuts are only allowed during the drying phases of multiple women above the age of 40 getting their hair colored. 

Question #2:  What about those of us that are just trying to get a ten minute haircut?
My Comment:  See above, haircuts are no longer a standard practice.  It's all about the hair coloring!!  Hair Colorery is born!!

Question #3:  Who comes to a walk-in hair salon to get their hair colored?
My Comment:  The foundation of my gripe starts with this question.  I feel as thought the coloring of one's hair should be done at a full-scale salon, not a walk-in location such as Hair Cuttery, Super Cuts, Mastercuts, etc.  Maybe I'm completely wrong about this, but if I were trying to get my hair colored, I wouldn't want it done by a "stylist" hair-cutter at Hair Cuttery.  You might as well color your hair yourself with a boxed product from the store. I cannot imagine the results being that different.  I know I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the two methods...but I'm a male, so I guess that doesn't mean much coming from me.

Bottom Line - I really wish the wait times for my haircuts were not increasing with each visit.  For a walk-in location, I should not have to wait 30 minutes because of multiple hair colorings.  I do not mind the wait if it is because of HAIRCUTS, but the wait times at my Hair Colorery are clearly increasing because of multiple women above the age of 40 getting their hair cut colored.

Social Gripe #4: Internet Narcissism

Recently, I have had some interesting encounters with a few of my neighbors through the message board on my community's website.  In trying to explain the actions of the neighbors on the message board, only one doctrine seems to adequately describe their online personalities - narcissism.  Definition of Narcissism from Wikipedia:

The term Narcissism refers to the personality trait of egotism, which includes the set of character traits concerned with self-image ego. The terms narcissism, narcissistic, and narcissist are often used as pejoratives, denoting vanity, conceit, egotism or simple selfishness. Applied to a social group, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others.

Since narcissism is such a broad term and I only know of these people's digital self, I felt the need to create my own narcissism subcategory.  Hence the birth of Internet Narcissism from yours truly:

The term Internet Narcissism refers to the personality trait of egotism that exists in certain individuals when using the internet.  Individuals with Internet Narcissism disregard the emotional well-being and/or feelings of others while on the internet.  Their selfish nature leads them to post harsh responses in an attempt to belittle the recipient.  An Internet Narcissistic will not recognize, discuss, or concede the opposing viewpoint of another individual when communication occurs through online message boards, forums, chats, and/or email.

For all I know, my fellow message boarders could be decent human-beings outside the confines of the internet; even though that seems unlikely considering the foul language being used on the message board.  The issue at hand that has stimulated these fevered discussions on my community's message board is SPEEDING.  

Issue:  A handful of residents from my community feel that too many people are "speeding" in, out, and around the neighborhood at all times of the day.  

Fiction #1:  Children may die because of these speeders.

Fact #1:  No such event has even come close to fruition.

Fiction #2:  One individual, whom I shall call Internet Narcissist #1 (IN#1), cited the result of "32 tickets in 2 hours in October of 2009 after a speed trap was in place along Sansbury" as evidence of a speeding problem.  

Fact #2: What IN#1 fails to realize is that the majority of those 32 tickets were given to people going less than 30mph.  These people were not speeding excessively and would not have been given tickets in all likelihood if the speed limit (20mph) was set at the standard residential speed limit of 25mph for Maryland.

Examples of Internet Narcissism  
(from the speeding thread of my community's online message board)

  

Example #1

The speeding discussion on the message board had been going for some time and it didn't seem to be going anywhere.  They were just complaining back and forth, so I interjected:  "You people are going to give yourselves a hernia over this stuff. If speeding is the worst of our neighborhood problems, then things aren't that bad. I would be more concerned if things like vandalism, sex predators, and drug trafficking were happening everyday."

Probably not the most appropriate way to dive into the conversation, but I think I have a right to my opinions.  IN#2 responses with "I cannot believe you would say that. Speeding is breaking the law…..period, dot."  I see this as the first stance of Internet Narcissism since he is telling me I'm not allowed to state my opinion and even though I never said it was okay to speed, I must have according to him.

Example #2

IN#2 continues his thoughts:  "Our continued complaints have resulted in the installation of 'traffic calming devices' sometime in the future, additionally, raise the speed limit to 25mph. Raise the speed limit? You have got to be kidding. The philosophy is that having the current speed limit at 20mph forces people to speed. So raising it to 25mph won't? So, with the differences of opinion employed by the deputies, could be 30mph, could be 32mph. Now that is some logic we can all live with. That might save you five seconds from the condos to MD260. Is your time that precious? If the residents don't take control of this situation, it will only continue to deteriorate. And yes, get over it, I will take my hernia and wear it proudly".   

IN#2 is not seeing the bigger picture.  In the current situation, driving any speed over 20mph is considered speeding.  Penalizing people by the way of tickets for driving between 21 and 25mph is wrong since the residential standard for speed in Maryland is 25mph.  IN#2 is also trying to quantify the value of my time.  Five seconds may not be very precious to him, but it is to me - classic narcissistic egotism. 

Example #3

IN#3 decides to chime in:  "Apparently you do not have children. You are most likely one of the people flying past houses at 45 miles per hour. If you do not like doing the speed limit like a responsible adult, then I suggest you move to a different neighborhood."

So because I want a reasonable speed limit of 25mph, I must be an irresponsible, childless adult that speeds around the community at 45mph.  I did not realize that having children makes one care more about the safety of others.  According to his logic, all people without children are heartless and should live in gutters.  As I defined earlier, Internet Narcissists will "post harsh responses in an attempt to belittle the recipient" while using "pejoration" (slander) remarks.

Recap

These three examples only represent a small portion of the anybody's opinion but their own - truly narcissistic people.

-WARNING-

Internet Narcissism is a horrible condition that is even harder to diagnose.  Since the condition results in big egos and mental blindness, most carriers of Internet Narcissism* will never realize they have a problem because of their self-absorbed nature.  Please take great care of oneself when confronting Internet Narcissists on internet message boards, chats, forums, and/or email.

*Websites dominated by registered users are filled with carriers of Internet Narcissism.  Avoiding these websites (slickdeals.net for example) will keep you safe from the spread of Internet Narcissism.  The "veteran" users of these websites will use Internet Narcissism to criticize you to no end for the smallest mistake.

NBA Player Performance - sPPR

For some odd reason, the gold standard for determining player performance in the NBA is the Player Efficiency Rating (PER).  It was developed a few years back by John Hollinger of ESPN.  He calls it "a rating of a player's per-minute productivity."  I've never been a big fan of PER, or John Hollinger for that matter (He's a Wizards Hater).

To start with, PER does not account for a player's defensive performance.  According to Hollinger's PER introduction article, "PER is not the final, once-and-for-all evaluation of a player's accomplishments during the season. This is especially true for defensive specialists...who don't get many blocks or steals."  This is utterly baffling to me.  Why not adjust your methodology to account for defensive statistics?  The formula is already complicated enough that adding a few more variables shouldn't be that big of a deal.  I don't see how Hollinger can claim PER as an adequate way to obtain a player's level of productivity.  One cannot measure a player's overall efficiency without incorporating offensive and defensive productivity (despite popular belief, defense does count for something in the NBA).

Oh, by the way, the very long PER formula can be found here, if you want to bore yourself.  I will not discuss Hollinger's PER statistic any further due to its convoluted and bias nature towards offensive performance. 

I have developed a basic statistical methodology for calculating the net offensive and defensive performance of an NBA player.  This new statistic, simple player performance rating (sPPR), will measure the current effectiveness of an NBA player in a given season.  Four offensive and four defensive primary statistics recorded by the NBA will be used to determine sPPR:

Four Offensive Statistics
True Shooting % (TS%)
Points Per Game (PPG)
Assists Per Game (APG)
Defensive Rebounds Per Game (DRPG)

Four Defensive Statistics Used
Steals Per Game (SPG)
Offensive Rebounds Per Game (ORPG)
Blocks Per Game (BPG)
Turnovers Per Game (TPG)

To simplify the calculation for sPPR, the eight offensive and defensive statistics listed above were condensed into five statistical factors:

Shooting Efficiency (1) - max: 100%, min: 0% - player receives one tally per level* of TS% achieved

*Levels - 35, 40, 45, 50, 53, 57, 60, 63, 65, 68

Scoring (2) - max: 30, min: 0 - player's PPG is used

Passing (3) - max: 10, min: 0 - player's APG is used

Rebounding (4) - max: 10, min: 0 - player's DRPG is used

Intangibles (5) - max: 8, min: 0 - player's SPG plus ORPG plus BPG minus TPG is used

sPPR Calculation Steps
1.  Each factor's tally total is divided by its corresponding maximum.  Multiply factor 4's result by 1.5 to create a fair baseline between guards and forwards/centers.  (creates an equilibrium between all positions)  
2.  Add up the results of step one.
3.  Divide the result of step two by the total number of factors (5).
4.  Divide the result of step three by player's team pace.
5.  Multiply result of step four by 100 to achieve sPPR.

Example:  Chris Paul (as of March 3rd, 2010)

Step 1
Factor 1 = 50.97% = 4.0 tallies
Factor 2 = 20.4 = 20.4 tallies
Factor 3 = 11.2 = 11.2 tallies
Factor 4 = 4.1 = 4.1 tallies x 1.5 = 6.15 tallies
Factor 5 = 2.3+0.5+0.2-2.5 =  0.5 tallies

Step 2
40+68+112+(34*1.5)+6 = 316.4

Step 3
316.4/5 = 63.6%

Step 4
0.632833/94.8 = 0.006675

Step 5

sPPR = 0.006675 x 100 =  0.667546 or 66.8%

So what does all of this mean?  Based on simple statistics (sPPR), Chris Paul is second most effective player in the NBA - only 1.6 percentage points behind LeBron James.

Top 10 sPPR (as of March 10th, 2010)

I realize that sPPR may not be the most statistically sound way to measure NBA player performance since statistics like usages rates and minutes played are ignored, but its better than trying to make sense of PER's calculation.  I think you need a Ph.D. in statistics to understand decipher the PER methodology, whereas the sPPR formula should make sense to everybody because its methodology is based on common sense and simple terminology.  Based on my findings, I believe sPPR is a more accurate representation of an NBA player's combined offensive and defensive prowess. 

The complete working file with all of the NBA player statistics and sPPR calculation is located here.  A results file with a comparison of Top 10 between PER and sPPR is listed here.  An updated copy will be kept in the Proposition Documents page and on the right side toolbar.

Sports Gripe #4: Lindsey "The Perpetual Choker" Vonn

Now that the 2010 Winter Olympics are over, I feel the need to vent about Lindsey "The Perpetual Choker" Vonn...

The Olympics in a nutshell for Lindsey Vonn

She may be the most disappointing United States Olympic athlete ever.  Don't even try to defend her.  You would be wasting your breath.  The truth is in the photos...

Event #1:  Downhill

Medal Podium of Women's Downhill

She won the gold medal!! Woohoo!! She became the first American woman to win an Olympic gold medal in downhill.  Excellent news, but her comments after the win were less than desirable - "I have what I want".  Nice attitude considering she still had to compete in four more Olympic events.  And don't forget the fact that the United States has never been dominate in the Winter Olympics and needs every medal possible to stand a chance at winning the Winter Olympics.  I guess national pride doesn't matter to Vonn, just personal accolades - sounds like a typical American to me.  And you wonder why the world hates us... 

Event #2:  Super-Combined

Vonn's Crash in Super-Combined

So much for an American gold medal in the Super-Combined.  Vonn was leading after the first leg, but showed us all how easy it is to choke in the Olympics when she didn't get her ski around a gate.  As a result of this crash, the gold medal was won by a German named Maria Riesch, who happens to be Vonn's best friend (so much for befriending your teammates).  Thankfully, the very sincere and grateful American, Julia Mancuso, managed to win the silver medal.  It turns out that Mancuso and Vonn are rivals even though they are on the same team (WHY!?!?).  I think it is safe to assume that the rivalry was created by Vonn - stupid people like her tend to create rivalries.  Athletes from the same team should not be rivals when the goal of the Olympics is win the most medals for your country.

Event #3:  Super-G

Bronze Medal - boring

Nothing too exciting here...Vonn won the bronze medal with a lackluster effort.  The quote from Vonn says it all - "Once I passed the tricky sections, I think I let off the gas pedal a little bit. I just didn't continue with that aggression all the way to the finish".  Thank you for not giving 100% Lindsey - the citizens of the United States appreciate it...at least she didn't crash this time.

Event #4:  Giant Slalom

Vonn's Crash in Giant Slalom

Her status as The Perpetual Choker was cemented with this crash, but that is only the half of it.  The crash also damaged her teammate's (Julia Mancuso) chances of winning a medal in the Giant Slalom (it isn't all Vonn's fault since it was the IOC's decision to shorten the interval between starts, but Vonn shouldn't have fallen regardless).  But it was Vonn's comments later that vaulted her into the epic stratosphere of audacity.  "But I can't help that I fell. I wanted to finish."  Talk about a stupid comment.  Message to Vonn: you can stop yourself from falling by skiing better and not choking!!

Event #5:  Slalom

Random (Not From Slalom Run) - LOL

In her last event of the 2010 Winter Olympics, Vonn straddled a gate and was immediately disqualified - an appropriate ending for The Perpetual Choker.  And following the race, another loser quote from Vonn:  "I'm totally satisfied with everything I have done here. I have the gold medal I came here for."  Really, you're satisfied?  Well, America isn't.  I find your lazy, self-centered attitude unacceptable and unbecoming for an Olympic athlete.  When the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi begin, I would be much happier if you are not representing the United States.  The world should not have to witness more of your crashes or the lackadaisical attitude you show towards the Olympic games.  Keep enjoying those worthless world cup medals that nobody in the United States cares about...

To recap, Lindsey Vonn crashed and/or DQ'ed in three of her five events.  In any other American sport, the media would be labeling her as a choker.  But because she won a gold medal*, she gets a pass.  I don't buy it.  Choking in more than half of your Olympic events is special, but not in a good way.  She should be branded from this point forward as The Perpetual Choker.
*I don't acknowledge her "bruised shin" as an excuse for crashing/DQ'ing since she won a gold medal in her first event.  Her health was fine.  And the broken pinky finger she suffered in event #4 was not the reason she choked in event #5.

Side Note:

Update to "Very Long Wait" post:  Netflix finally sent me The Hangover!! 
Let's review -  The Hangover was released on DVD/Blu-Ray on December 15, 2009 and I received it on March 3rd, 2010.  78 days - Unacceptable!! 

General Gripe #5: "Cornblah"

Things that I Love about Cracker Barrel:  

Biscuits
Side Dishes
Friday Fish Fry
Dumplings
Cottage Cheese
Fast Service
Iced Tea
Mac and Cheese
All-Day Breakfast

Things that I Hate about Cracker Barrel:

Nasty Children Fighting over Big Checker Boards
Waiting to be Seated (in their crammed "Retail Store")
"Cornbread" (the worst ever)

My dining experiences at Cracker Barrel have lead me to conclude that putting a yummy item (Biscuits) on the same plate as a nasty item (Cornbread) can ruin the whole dining experience.  As you can see from the two lists above, the positive aspects of the Cracker Barrel experience greatly outnumber the negatives. Yet I find my pleasant Cracker Barrel experiences being compromised each time by one of those negative aspects.  The fighting children and waiting in line are typical occurrences that I have learned to accept when I dine at the Cracker Barrel.  But I will not accept their horrible cornbread!!  It is always dry and flavorless - two qualities unbecoming of cornbread. 

How is it possible that their "cornbread" is so utterly bland when the biscuits are so good!! Their biscuits actually make butter obsolete, where as I need five pounds of butter before I can consume tolerate their cornbread!!  In my honest opinion, "cornbread" is not an appropriate word to describe the counterpart to the biscuit on Cracker Barrel's bread plate.  I think many people would agree that Cracker Barrel's cornbread is barely edible.

Since Cracker Barrel will continue to serve a paltry cornbread in the future, it is only right that I give it a naming more becoming of its characteristics.  From this point forward, Cracker Barrel's "cornbread" shall be called...

Cornblah 

2010/2011 Salary Table - Wizards

Looks like the Wizards put themselves in a good position for 2010/2011.  They can sign three mid-level free agents, or one big free agent and another mid-level free agent during this summer's free agency period.  Of course, this is all dependent on a big name free agent wanting to play in DC...

Imagine if they find a way to void Gilbert Arenas' contract.  They would have less than $20 million devoted to the 2010/2011 payroll before the draft and the start of free agency.  I call that the dream scenario. 

See the side bar to access the entire excel file or click here to see the full table as web page.

[Updated 4:30pm 2-18-2010]
Dominic McGuire has since been traded so I removed him from the excel file.  The option columns complicated the look of the table so I took them out.  The Wizards will still be $29 million under the luxury tax for 2010/2011 after signing their draft picks.  If they resign Josh Howard and Mike Miller, it should cost no more than $14 million.  That would leave additional $15 million to use on an A or B list free agent.

Road Rage #7: When a belt is not a belt...

Picture of a Belt

Picture of DMV's I-495 (Capital Beltway)

Using the word "beltway" to describe DMV's (DC, MD, VA) I-495 is theoretically correct since I-495 is an encircling road that closely resembles the shape of a belt, but how would commuters of the Capital Beltway describe its shape?  Some I-495 commuters would probably agree that the Capital Beltway is an encircling road that closely resembles a belt, but numerous others would strongly disagree with that assessment because of one particular area of Capital Beltway outer-loop just before the I-270 exit in Silver Spring, Maryland.  I have dubbed this area as the "Turns of Death".

Turns of Death near I-270 Exit

As you can plainly see from the picture above, the area before the I-270 exit on the outer-loop of the Capital Beltway breaks away from the "belt" shape.  It is a maze of twists and turns.  The development of the beltway in this area was devised with a complete disregard for human safety and well-being.  It is hard to distinguish from the picture, but these twists/turns on the Capital Beltway's outer-loop before the I-270 exit are quite severe in many locations, and it requires drivers to navigate them at a disproportionally high speed.

According to Wikipedia, the I-270 exit off the Capital Beltway is considered the 3rd worst bottleneck intersection in the nation.  There is no doubt in my mind that most of the problems with this intersection should be attributed to a high volume of cars, but also I see how the Turns of Death before the I-270 exit are the primary precursor to intersection's volume issues.  Officials have proposed metro changes (creation of the purple line) and have recently started building alternative roads (Inter-County Connector) to curb the high volume issue, but what about the Turns of Death?  Nothing is in the works to eliminate the Turns of Death, even though the same types of weaving issues were resolved on the Beltway near I-95, I-395, and I-495 in Virginia with the completion of the Springfield Interchange in 2007.

But why do I care? I don't even live there...

Obvious answer, I love to gripe, but I have to deal with the horrific driving circumstances created by the Turns of Death every time I want to visit friends from Montgomery County or ski in the mountains.  Maybe it's bad luck, but I have to yet to experience a "clean" trip from home to anywhere on I-270.  90% of the time, the problems occur around the Turns of Death before I reach the I-270 exit off the Capital Beltway.  It amazes me how that road will find a way to be congested at two am in the middle of the night on a weekday!!*

*It's pretty obvious to me that this is a result of too many DC commuters/visitors living in Montgomery County, but I'll gripe in more detail about that sometime in the future.

The easiest way to survive the Turns of Death is to develop incredible patience as a driver - accidents are not occasional here, they are constant.  If one cannot achieve epic patience as a driver, then avoiding the Turns of Death is your only other option.  Heed my warning or suffer dearly...

Consequences may include stress, yelling, lateness, anger, fatigue, loss of mind, heart attack, stroke, dementia, headaches, sexual side effects, diarrhea, dry mouth, and/or nausea . Take the Turns of Death only when you have at least three extra hours to devote for travel.  Talk to your doctor before taking the Turns of Death, the #1 cause for road rage.

General Gripe #4: Very Long Wait

The Problem - When do I get to see The Hangover?

I've had The Hangover at the top of my Netflix queue since the Blu-Ray came out on December 15, 2009.  It seems like everybody else has seen it at least 10 times.  To start with, I'm going to go out on a limb here and figure that Netflix bought as many copies of The Hangover as they did Night at the Museum 2.  Why would you buy the same amount of DVD's for both of these movies when one is best selling DVD ever and the other is a run of mill, boring family night snooze fest.  Please enlighten me on your thinking there Netflix!?!?

Another possible reason for me not receiving The Hangover is the lovely concept of "throttling". Most Netflix subscribers have had at least one run in with the throttling feature.  See this article for a full explanation of Netflix's throttling method.  Laura and I are not psycho movie returns, i.e. people who receive a movie, watch it immediately, and return it the next day.  We have the two-at-a-time Blu-Ray plan, so we usually receive two movies in the mail around Wednesday or Thursday, watch them over the weekend, and mail them back on Monday morning.  Not excessive/psycho renting in my opinion, but it is my belief that Netflix starts to view us as "psycho" subscribers near the end of our billing cycle, and "throttles" us as a result.  They prevent us from receiving more new releases because we have already received our "fair" amount of two new releases for the billing cycle.  I find their "fairness" profit algorithm baseless and moronic.  Diligent movie watchers, who have paid their subscription fees, should not be punished because other subscribers sit on movies for weeks at a time.  Do not judge me based on their minimalistic standards!! Punish them instead for being slow!! As always, slow people are ruining my life!!  But I digress, because there are bigger fish to fry in the Netflix world...

The Bigger Problem - Limited Availability and Price Increases

Sometime in mid-2008, Netflix added the Blu-Ray option, but since Laura and I did not own a Blu-Ray player at that time, we did not give it a second thought.  With Laura gifting me a Blu-Ray player for Christmas 2008, we decided to upgrade our Netflix two-at-a-time plan from DVD's to Blu-Ray discs since it was only a one dollar more per month.  From that point on (January 2009) until April 2009, the queue image from above was commonplace.  The amount of available new release Blu-Ray copies was so low that we would have to wait for the movie to be out at least two months before receiving it in the mail.  Thankfully, Netflix noticed this problem, and came up with the solution...

Anybody want to guess the solution?  Think Capitalism...

By email, Netflix told us they were raising the monthly subscription price for Blu-Ray customers from an extra $1 ($15 total) to $3 ($18 total)...

My initial complaint with the above email is Netflix automatically enrolling every Blu-Ray customer into the price change.  It is a bad business practice, in my opinion, to assume a customer will accept a price increase.  Subscribers that are okay with the change should be the ones having to take action, not the ones who disagree with the change.  I know, stupid thought, but I just wanted to throw it out there.  Here is my major problem with the email...

When I received this email on March 30, 2009, I was not totally thrilled about the price increase, but from my viewpoint, Netflix had a legitimate right to make this price increase.  Retail Blu-Rays are much more expensive than DVD's (about 35%), and it is only fair that I would pay about 35% more than the DVD subscriber with same type of plan.  And in actuality, Netflix Blu-Ray subscribers were getting a unbelievable good deal before this email appeared; the $1 price difference for Blu-Rays only equates to a 7% increase over the same DVD plan.  Even with the DVD/Blu-Ray price difference increasing from $1 to $3 in May 2009 per above email, a Blu-Ray subscriber was still only paying 21% more for Blu-Ray versus the same DVD plan - still a good deal in my opinion.  From May 2009 until November 2009, the Netflix Blu-Ray subscription was working quite well with good Blu-Ray availability and very few "Very Long Wait" situations.  Then came November 2009...

With all of the early summer mega-movies setting their DVD/Blu-Ray releases dates around November, the amount of new releases in Blu-Ray format being sent to us began to shrink considerably.  Hence the queue image from above - lots of "Very Long Waits" that never go away.  There are at least five new releases from November that Laura and I have not seen yet (despite their presence at the top of our queue), and it's February!!  This is an unacceptable situation that feels eerily similar to the one that led to a Blu-Ray subscription price increase in March 2009.

I would not be shocked if I have an email in my inbox by the end of February stating a monthly increase of $2 to Blu-Ray subscribers.  If my math is correct, a Blu-Ray subscription would then be 35% more than the comparable DVD plan, which is right in line with the retail cost difference between Blu-Rays and DVD's.  I would, again, be perfectly okay with this increase, but why must we have to deal with months of limited Blu-Ray availability before the problem is noticed?!?!

I think Laura and I should be entitled to a reward for dealing with limited Blu-Ray availability over the past three months.  Our extra payment of $3 per month is for Blu-Rays, but over the past three months, Laura and I have only received about five Blu-Ray new releases that we wanted to see.  Every other Blu-Ray we have received since November only came to us because something had to be in the queue.  We shall wait and see what happens...based on our current queue, I do not think the situation can get much worse...

Happy Birthday Laura!!

Today is too perfect for griping!!

Just a special Happy Birthday message to my wonderful wife...

Happy Birthday Laura!!  

I hope you have a great day!!

Poll #1 - 1985 Bears...best ever by the numbers

I feel as though I have come up with a fairly simple methodology for figuring out the best team in NFL history.  My hope is that it does not come off as too complicated.  The basic premise is to pick a handful of NFL team statistics, average the statistics to a percentage, and average those percentages to one overall power value.

Here are the 5 quantitative factors I used to determine the best team in NFL history, with the 1985 Bears used as the primary example.

1.  Wins from Average
- number of games played per team divided by two -
Example: 15(Bears total wins) - 8(average NFL team wins)= 7

2.  Turnover Differential 
- takeaways minus giveaways -
Example: +23

3.  Offensive Yards Per Game from Average
- team average offensive yards per game minus average NFL team yards per game -
Example:  365 (Bears average yards per game) - 329 (NFL average team) = 35

4.  Defensive Yards Per Game from Average -
- team average defensive yards per game minus average NFL team yards per game -
Example: 329 (NFL average team) - 258 (Bears average yards per game) = 71

5.  Average Margin of Victory
- number of points scored minus number points allowed divided by number of games -
Example: 456 (points scored) - 198 (points allowed) / 16 (games played) = 16.13

After I inputted all of the data from the SuperBowl winners and losers for these 5 factors, I realize that each factor did not carry an equal weight.  Each factor was given a 100% maximum possibility based on historic data.  Each team was then given a percentage based on that maximum possibility:

Maximums (1985 Bears %)
1.  Wins from Average - 8 (7/8=88%)
2.  Turnover Differential - 30 (23/30=77%)
3.  Offensive Yards Per Game from Average- 100 (35/100=35%)
4.  Defensive Yards per Game from Average - 100 (71/100=71%)
5.  Average Margin of Victory - 20 (16.13/20=81%)

The average of these five percentages represent a team's Power Quotient:

1. 1985 Bears - 70.24% = ( 88+77+35+71+81 / 5 )
2.  1972 Dolphins - 69.63%
3.  1983 Redskins - 67.66%*
4.  2007 Patriots - 64.22%*
5.  1991 Redskins - 61.41%
*did not win SuperBowl 

See the results file to view the Power Quotients' for all of the past SuperBowl Winners and Losers.
The full data/results file will be located in the Documents Box^ (right side of blog). 
^I will be updating this file periodically with results and data for every NFL team by year.

Poll #1 - Best Team in NFL History?

I stumbled upon the above YouTube clip of Joe Theismann and John Riggins' discussion of the current Redskins about three weeks ago.  Theismann stating that the 1983 Redskins were the best team in NFL history (even though they didn't win the SuperBowl that year) got me thinking about some of the greatest teams in NFL history.  Most of the great teams were SuperBowl winners, but is it possible for a team to be considered the best ever if they were not even the best team during one particular year?  I guess the quick counter would be that the best team does not always win the SuperBowl in a given year. 

I've devised a simple formula that uses basic NFL game statistics to calculate which team should be considered the best ever...and I'll share it in my next post.

But before I share my simple methodology (remember: advanced methods are a waste of time), I'd like to know which team is the best ever in your mind...

My guess for the best team in NFL history before looking at historical NFL statistics was the 2007 Patriots.

In your opinion, which team was the best ever?

Social Gripe #3: Egocentrics - Part C: In Public

In Public - in such a way as to be visible to the scrutiny of the people, such as malls, gas stations, restaurants, hotels, etc...

Any human-being that has disturbed, inconvenienced, or bothered you in any manner while in a public setting would be considered Egocentric.  Egocentrics are highly visible to the common bystander and tend to make themselves visible even during your dullest state of mind (day-dreaming for instance).  I want to share with you some Egocentrics types that I have had past experiences with In Public:

1.  Space Hogs:  These people will always be in your way when you are walking through malls/stores/places with limited walking space.  I'm not sure what their problem is, but they insist upon taking up as much room as possible and they will always make you move drastically to avoid bumping into their sprawling body.   
Future Goal:  Ram into a Space Hog intentionally in an attempt to bruise their body and their precious ego.

2.  Cellular-Beings:  These are people who love their cell phone more than actual human beings.  There seems to be one of these people in every group, but you probably don't realize they exist.  You want to know why?  Their constant talking, texting, sexting, pexting means you never get to interact with them even though they are physically next to you (they just don't exist mentally around you).  
Future Goal:  Take a Cellular-Beings cell phone extra appendage and smash it into a million pieces.

3.  Parchment and Quill Users:  At one time or another, you have probably had to deal with these people in a store - they are ones that waste your time by continuing to use the outdated method of CHECKS.  The extreme Parchment and Quill Users have the nerve to write CHECKS in the Express Lanes.  These people must have never been told that Debit Cards do the same thing as CHECKS, but in a lot less time.   
Future Goal:  As a Parchment and Quill User is wasting my time in a store line, I will pry the checkbook from their stupid, inconsiderate hands and light it on FIRE!!

4.  Loud-Toothers:  These people think they are so important and cool because of their cell phone blue-tooth earpiece.  Their coolness means that everybody else around them needs to hear their whole cell phone conversation.  It is very confusing and awkward at first when you see a person talking to themselves in a public place because you can't tell whether they are talking to you or just plain crazy.  Moments later, however, you look at their ear and realize they are a Loud-Toother - instant relief (this situation is unfair to the rest of us that aren't as cool douchey as you).   
Future Goal:  Stare a complete Loud-Toother stranger straight in the face and ask them multiple questions as they are talking on their blue-tooth.

5.  Indecent Exhibitionists:  Public Displays of Affection or PDA are allowable to a certain extent - eating-face or groping would be considered a Indecent Exhibitionist act in my book.  The Indecent Exhibitionists usually find the most central and public location for their extreme PDA.  The most distributing part is that the worst and highest occurring cases of PDA are usually being performed by abnormal characters - examples include the creepy, damaged, and unstable types (use your own imagination if you dare).   
Future Goal:  Block a set of Indecent Exhibitionists from the public view by placing a big cardboard box over them.

Road Rage #6: Arrogant, Stupid, or Selfish?

Stick-Family Sticker Users

I don't care about your family, and I would venture to say that most of the people driving around you don't either.  Please remove these stickers from the back of your car.  In all likelihood, they represent more of how fake your family is on a daily basis, rather than how perfect or "nuclear" your family is in your warpped mind.

Simple Message: Lose the Douche-Bag Stickers!!

The Morning Sprinters of Silver Hill Road

Many residents of Suitland, MD use the metro as their primary method of transportation - all well and good.  But the problem is that these metro users insist upon walking to the Suitland Metro Station in the morning by crossing Silver Hill Road without using crosswalks or lighted intersections.  There have been numerous occasions when I was very close to hitting one of these pedestrians sprinters (morning darkness makes it very difficult to see them) - nobody needs/wants hitting a pedestrian on their conscience.   

What makes the situation worse is that I when I went to look for a picture of this stupidity in action, it was on clear display in Google-Map's street-view picture (see below) of Silver Hill Road at the Suitland Metro.  You don't even want to get me started on the fact that CHILDREN (as seen below) are usually accompanying them during this illegal activity!!

Simple Message:  Use the Crosswalks!! 
***Crosswalks appear every 200 yards on Silver Hill Road.

What's your opinion of the Stick-Family Stickers and The Morning Sprinters?

Project #2: Part B - Super Bowl Contenders

In an effort to conclude this project quickly with a usable outcome, I compiled the data for four of the major NFL team statistics from 1999-2008.  Trends discovered from the compiled data were used to eliminate teams from SuperBowl contention in 2009.  See below for a results breakdown:

Team Predictor - Results (see Part A - Turnover Difference)

Eliminated Teams: Panthers, Browns, Cowboys, Bears, Lions, Dolphins, Raiders, Jaguars, Rams, Titans, Redskins, Cardinals, and Steelers

Defense Predictor - Results

If a team's defense allows less than 110 rushing yards per game, they are considered better than average.  An average defensive team gives up between 110 and 125 rushing yards per game.  90% of SuperBowl teams had at least an average rushing defense from 1999-2008.  Teams that have allowed over 125 rushing yards per game in 2009 thus far were eliminated from SuperBowl contention.

Eliminated Teams:  Bills, Chiefs, Chargers, Bucs

Offense #1 Predictor - Results

If a team's offense gains more than 125 rushing yards per game, they are considered better than average.  An average offensive team gains between 110 and 125 rushing yards per game.  90% of SuperBowl teams had at least an average rushing offense from 1999-2008.  Teams that have averaged less than 110 rushing yards gained per game in 2009 thus far were eliminated from SuperBowl contention.

Eliminated Teams:  Texans, Colts, Seahawks

Offense #2 Predictor - Results

If a team converts over 45% of their 3rd down attempts on offense, they are considered better than average.  An average offensive team converts between 40 and 45 percent of their 3rd down attempts on offense.  70% of SuperBowl teams had at least an average 3rd down success on offense from 1999-2008.  Teams that have converted less than 40% of their 3rd down attempts on offense in 2009 thus far were eliminated from SuperBowl contention.

Eliminated Teams:  Broncos, Jets, Eagles

3nd Tier SuperBowl Contenders:  

(medium probability to make playoffs, low probability to make SuperBowl)
Falcons, Cowboys, and Giants

2nd Tier SuperBowl Contenders:  

(high probability to make playoffs, medium probability to make SuperBowl)
Packers, Patriots, Ravens, and Bengals

1st Tier SuperBowl Contenders:

(guaranteed playoffs, high probability to make SuperBowl)
Vikings and Saints*

*I realize they are both in the same conference, but they are currently the two most dominant teams in the NFL.  There is a very high probability that one of these teams will be in the SuperBowl. 

Next Gripe Project...Best Team in NFL History - 1983 Redskins?!?!...

General Gripe #3: Financial Responsibility

The recent economic crisis in the United States came about due to many different factors from various people around the country.  The fiscal irresponsibility of many American families is one of those factors, and it strikes me as the one that could have been easily avoided if people had been given better advice on how to run their finances.  A lot of this bad advice has come from financial institutions in the form of Adjustable-Rate Mortgages and inflated egos, but a lot of the recent heartache probably could have been avoided if people had been taught some simple daily-living finance rules.  I feel as though Laura and I have done quite well at managing our finances over the past five years thanks to some simple daily-living finance rules.  I would like to share some of the rules that have helped us save money since graduating from college and survive the past two years of an unstable American economy:

Guido's Gripes Simple Guide to Finances

The Green Rule:  Don't Buy Stuff You Can't Afford!!

Exception to The Green Rule:  If you can't afford something, don't charge it unless you need it!!

Understand the difference between Wants and Needs:

• Wants:  something desired 
• all types of toys (big, small, electronic, paper-based...)
  
• excessive amounts of clothes (major labels)
  
• candy, snacks
  
• restaurant meals (over $25)
  
• entertainment (movies, concerts, happy hours)  
• travel (vacations)
  

• Needs:  must have/requirement
• food (grocery food)
  
• water (the drinking type)
  
• shelter (mortgage/rent)...box on street if you don't listen)
  
• heat, water, electricity (bills)
  
• transportation - excludes luxury brands (ie -BMW, Lexus, Range Rover...)

The Red Rule:  Build a reserve fund that would maintain a baseline quality of life for at least 3 months* if worse case scenario occurred.
*According to Suze, you should have at least 8 months of savings...three months is a good starting point in my opinion.

How to Build Reserve Fund

Step #1:  Set-up an account (fund) with an online savings bank (higher savings yields than traditional banks).
Step #2:  Transfer an initial deposit of at least $250 to fund, more if possible.
Step #3:  Slowly build online savings fund by putting a set amount (at least $50 and above) in each month.
Step #4:  Never Withdraw Money from this fund, unless a crisis occurs - such as job loss, act of god, accident, personal stupidity...

Road Rage #5: Two Commuting Hazards

Fakepoolers 

- individual who acquires a carpool tag and parks in a carpool spot with no passengers - 

You people can go to hell.  You are taking spots away from the true carpoolers (2 or more people = carpool).  Two days ago, I actually witnessed an individual walk from her office to her car in her so-called "carpool" spot and drive off.  What makes it worse is that I was able to prove without a reasonable doubt that she was a fakepooler because I inadvertently followed her through the garage and out of the complex, and nobody else ever got in the car!!  No Excuses - you fakepoolers are arrogant, lying, phonies!!

Ford Aerostar Mini-Van Owners 

- usually found abandoned on the side of the road or broken down in the middle lane of traffic with their 4-way flashers on -

How are these things still on the road?  They were discontinued in 1997.  Words of Advice for Ford Aerostar Mini-Vans Owners: Regular maintenance is required for a vehicle to remain operational, even more so for you because your car is a old POS from Ford.  If you take my advice, maybe your crappy mini-van will stop breaking down in the middle of the road, thus eliminating the numerous traffic nightmares you create on a daily basis.

Sports Gripe #3: LeTravel

The first Wizards-Cavs game of the 2009-2010 season is tonight in the lame city of Cleveland, and there is not one player in the NBA that I despise more than the Cav's LeBron James aka "The King", "Cry Baby", "LeTravel".  My hatred for LeBron started three years ago when he used four steps to score the game-winning basket at the end of a crucial playoff game, but was not called for a travel by the referees:


He took 4 Steps!! 3 Steps = Travel

Eventually, the refs caught onto "The King's" LeBron's illegal moves and grew enough balls to make this call in last year's Wiz-Cavs game:


First "Crab Dribble" Sighting

The "Cry Baby" still contends that the "crab dribble" is legal, despite the fact that it violates every NBA rule for legal dribbling.  The following video proves why the "crab dribble" is illegal:


The Birth of LeTravel

Go Wizards!!  

(added bonus: I'm attending the Wizards game tomorrow night against the Heat)

Social Gripe #2: Halloween Abusers

The Grossly Uncostumed 

- appears as a plain-clothed child (typically older), but with a pillowcase in hand

Black sweats, plain hats, ratty jeans, white t-shirts, etc. are not considered a costume - you are just being lazy!!  You want candy from me, you are going to need to put a little more effort into your costume rags.

The "Candy-Eating" Toddler
- as seen in the arms of their parent (since they can't walk!!)

So your 6-month old baby eats solid candy?  I don't think so...stop carrying the baby from house-to-house in an attempt to get candy for the baby yourself.  NO CANDY FOR YOU!!

The Savage High-Schooler

- can be heard coming from miles away and is found in groups of similar kind

You are too old for trick-or-treating.  Let the little kids enjoy the candy and experience without your gracious loud presence.  I know you wouldn't be able to notice those children since you are being distracted by your obnoxious group of followers that makes a point to scream and howl down each driveway/road.